Wednesday, September 09, 2009

The Politically Correct Pet

When Mr P came down for the sheep, he brought a piece of humor he and I had collaborated on when he was in High School. I don't know what it says about our minds, or that this is the first venue we found for it...

Introducing TAPEWORMS-- the politically correct,animal- rights- safe pet of the future!

Consider its virtues:

-You don't remove them from their natural habit-- they live in YOU, so--

-No housing problems!

-You don't have to feed or clean them-- just yourself.

-You can take them anywhere-- restaurants, hotels, other countries...

- They'll keep you thin-- perfect for models!

- They NEVER run away, bark, or annoy the neighbors.

-NO vet bills!

- Share segments with your friends-- a single investment can blossom into a lifetime of opportunity!

- And even Wayne Pacelle can't object.

What can I say? In Bozeman they used to call us the Addams family for stuff like this...


LabRat said...

I came to the conclusion long ago that if I must harbor a parasite, I'd much rather have a tapeworm than anything else.

And... if it helped my hayfever for free... maybe I'd be willing to give it a trial run, before I started downing the dewormer. The thought of having a worm does not, in itself, bother me at all.

Mark said...

Sounds like a good deal Lol

Throughout my teens and twenties many friends often commented on how I must have a tapeworm to be able to eat so much foot and stay slim, unfortunately that is no longer the case lol.

Anonymous said...

Au contraire, if you think this pet will be "animal rights safe"--I can just see the scenarios--prosecution with heavy fines for excessive drinking, speeding on the highway, or contact sports of ANY kind, as this would constitute endangerment to your pets. Rock climbing, mountain biking, and jogging would be socially frowned upon, as all would unnecessarily stress your wiggly cuties. Sharing segments would only be okay IF the other party wanted to do so--otherwise you would be violating them anally--a definete prison sentence if convicted(and I am sure expensive DNA tests would be involved in the court expenses to determine who's worms belonged to whom)--the prosecution possibilities are endless!....L.B.