Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Rants & Raves

Abby Mouat runs an amazing gun catalog reprint press. I have both ordered from and contributed to it, and recommend it without reservation to my readers.

But in the Internet world no good deed goes unpunished. Abby believes in letting the world see when you make a rude fool of yourself, and publishes the best of the worst in a section of her monthly newsletter called Rants & Raves. Here is a very mild selection.

(1)"My granddad left me a gun and I want to know how much I can get for it. It's pretty rusty and some parts are missing. The caliber is about a quarter inch but the barrel is blocked. The round thing where the bullets go is missing. Can you give me an appraisal of the value of this beautiful old antique? Sally"

Sally, I hate to tell you this but that gun is probably worth nothing at all. Send me a picture and I'll try to be more specific. Abby

"Abby, that is pretty specific already, but here is the picture..."

Sally, what you have is an Iver Johnson .22 Sealed Eight which, I am sorry to say is, indeed worth nothing in the condition you found it. Abby

"Thanks, but I am going to get another opinion. Sally"

(2)"Last year I ordered the book from you and it was good. This year I want the other one but I am not home so I can't tell you wich one it was that I need so please send it right away because I am buying a Marlin and need it when I get home. Here is my credit card: 8021... Jim"

Jim, I have no idea which of our 2000 catalogs and manuals you ordered and cannot look it up because I don't know your last name or address and your email doesn't match any on file.


Holly Heyser said...

Nice label on this post ;-)

Steve Bodio said...

Thanks Holly. Click on it and check out what else rises (? to the standard...

Anonymous said...

The second brings back bookstore memories.

"I'm looking for a book, do you have it? I think it's a mystery and I can't remember the title and I don't know the author, but I think it has a blue cover..."

Jim Cornelius

Steve Bodio said...

You and I both know that isn't even a joke!

What is more amazing is that a few book store owners somehow intuit what title is meant...